Recently, I had an interesting discussion with Dovi, a five-year-old boy, at the beach.
Dovi told me he wants to build a sandcastle and needs a bucket for this purpose.
He looked around, searching for a bucket, but none was in sight.
I asked - why do you need a bucket? He answered he needed it to carry water to get the sand wet so he could build a castle.
I said – there is wet sand near the water. You can bring it with your hands.
Dovi looked at me unconvinced and firmly said - I need a bucket.
I tried again- what about carrying water in your hands? Do you want to give it a go?
Dovi looked at me as if I said the most ridiculous thing and then reiterated- I need a bucket.
I wasn’t going to give up, so I tried again- you know, if you dig deep enough, you will get to wet sand. Dovi looked at me as if I really didn’t get it and said – I need a bucket. I left my bucket in the car.
I realised that to adopt a different idea, Dovi must be the one that comes up with the new concept.
So I asked him – how else can you get water?
Dovi looked at me, right in the eye, without blinking and said – I need a bucket.
It was clear that Dovi was stuck, and I had to find a way to get him unstuck.
I needed to get his conscious mind to think about other things while his subconscious mind working on his problem in the background.
Therefore, I said- let’s walk along the beach and see what treasures we can find.
So we walked.
Soon enough, Dovi picked up one of the many shells lying on the sand, looked at me and said – I can use this to bring water. I was so thrilled! Yes! It’s working!
I replied excitedly - this is a fantastic idea, Dovi!
Shortly after that, Dovi picked up a bottle top and said – I can use this as well to bring water!
I was over the moon. His mind overcame the hurdle and developed different, creative solutions to his problem. Dovi was no longer stuck on what was "supposed" to be the solution to his problem.
So Dovi took the shell and the bottle cap and walked towards the water.
As he got to the water, a wave crashed on the shore, and the water rushed towards him.
Dovi quickly turned around, ran away from the water, and shouted, "There is a wave. I can’t get water!”
Now Dovi had another problem to solve….
I enjoy having conversations with children. Often, I come out of these engagements with insights and valuable lessons.
Here are three insights from my time with Dovi:
You better have nerves of steel when talking with children.
Children are not interested in your ideas.
It is never too early to help your child develop creative thinking.
We live in a world where we constantly need to solve problems and overcome challenges.
Our children’s ability to think creatively and find innovative solutions to problems drives their success and happiness.
Want to help your child thrive in our complex world?
My book “Think Unique – Raising a successful, innovative child” provides you with the knowledge, skills and tools you need to help your child become a confident problem-solver that prospers in our fast-changing world.
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